Allow for the BEST to show up in the form it shows up—allowing the BEST to be what the best is.
Okay, lets dive further into what this statement mean and how to apply this to your own life—so you are living a life by design rather than by chance.
To be honest most live by chance, which mean they live by their conditions instead of creating their conditions. Confused yet? Or are you hanging in there with me so far?
Let me illustrate further with this incredible story:
I have a client named James who plays professional golf and this year when he played at Q School to maintain his PGA Tour card—which is something every pro golfer has to do unless he is ranked in the top 160 in the world. On the final hole, after 4 days and 71 holes, he needed just a par to qualify. He decided to play it safe and not use his driver, which he had done for most of the tournament. He hit a decent drive, but it hit a fairway bunker and stuck into the sand. One foot more and it was a perfect shot. As a result, he bogeyed the hole and did not get his card. Very disappointing and easy to get discouraged—unless you find the win and use it to advance as you go forward to your ultimate goal.
When James and I debriefed afterwards, I said, “James, you were playing not to lose rather than playing to win.” He told me I was correct, and that is how he played in college—while he was an All-American and the 2nd college-ranked player. In golf, as in life, there are many levels of achievement and I told James that may have worked in college, but it won’t work on the PGA Tour.
He has now adjusted his approach with greater results. He now plays to win rather than playing not to lose. And, he is now qualifying to play in the tournaments he enters. He is one of the best drivers on the PGA Tour and he was not using this to his advantage before now. In life, we all have personal advantages, and I love helping people find theirs in order to step into owning it and learning how to become more consistent by practicing what I call “WINNING HABITS.” What we do on a consistent basis, both consciously and sub-consciously, defines who we are.
James now plays with a newfound confidence and a willingness to bring out his best and trust that his best will show up when needed. He decided to focus on mental wins rather than score results—and that his score would take care of itself.
What happened next is he decided to play in Q School for the European Pro Golf Tour and flew to London. After a couple of practice rounds once he arrived, he was both physically and mentally ready to go.
In our “Game Ready” visualization, his three intentions for his first round, were as follows:
- Play with swagger and confidence (trust).
- Play with calm strength (power).
- ETMO, which is one of our BEAST TRIGGERS (embrace the moment).
Afterwards, I always have my client’s text me their three “wins of the day,” and his were:
- I played with confidence the entire day.
- I played with calm strength.
- Stayed present for the majority of my shots.
He shot a 69, which was 3 under par and that score put him in the hunt. The next round his intentions were:
- Start strong, finish strong.
- Enjoy the battle.
- Trust in my instincts.
His three wins were:
- I started committed and strong.
- I found ways to enjoy the next shot after a bad break.
- I trusted my instincts off the tee and hit great drives.
He texted no score, and I knew something had challenged him when he stated with the wins “I found ways to enjoy the next shot after a bad break.” So when we spoke next, I found out what appeared to have gone wrong in the moment. He was playing well and it was with 5 holes left when an official came up to him and said he was “on the clock.” That means he was playing too slow. He didn’t understand this, because they were keeping pace with the others, and the official had put no one else in his threesome “on the clock,” only him. Shortly afterwards, the same official gave him a “one stroke penalty” for slow play. In pro golf, every stroke is vital in making the cut. James said that although he became angry, he was able to maintain his composure and made a great putt to salvage par on that hole. On the next one, the official gave him another “one stroke penalty” and said if he were given one more penalty stroke, he would be disqualified from the tournament.
This appeared to be going from bad to worse. But, because he had learned to be true to his intentions and stay in his BEAST training principles, he was able to finish the round at one over par—even with the penalty stokes included (he was still in the hunt). It was after the round was done, when he found out that no other player had been put “on the clock” and that he had finished on time. Justifiably, he was really angry. There were only four Americans in the tournament and the other three were several strokes over par and were no longer in contention (so they had been left alone). He had heard they didn’t want Americans on the European Tour, and now he believed what he had heard.
When we spoke that night, I reminded him that before he got on the plane to come home, we were going to let the BEST show up however it was going to show up. Who is to judge that this is not the best showing up in an unexpected way? I said let’s stay in that energy and in spite of odds seeming to pile up against him let’s use it as fuel to bring the best out of James. What if he could play faster than time allows and still play great? He remembered that is what happened back in college. No one believed he could do it, so he stepped up and proved them all wrong. I said, “Great, use it as fuel to win in spite of the obstacle, and use it as an opportunity to just play in your strengths that no one can take from you. He then went to bed with a new sense of confidence. The next day when he called for his “Game Ready” I knew he was ready to step fully into his greatness.
Later that evening, I was talking to Adrian, a 14-year-old golfing wiz I also work with, and told him about what had just happened to James. He was blown away with James’ composure. He admitted he would have been too angry to finish that strong, and then said, “So I hope the best does truly show up for James.” I said it already has now, no matter what. He replied, “WOW, you are right, he will carry this strength through any crisis forward.” Adrian learned a lot in that moment.
I woke up the next morning to this text (I was in Hawaii and James was in London so his night was my morning and his morning was my night):
- Was able to play with maximum effort and not care about my result for almost every shot.
- The shots in which I had anxiety due to fixation on result, I executed well due to BRESPA and affirmations (a BEAST training technique).
- I was a BEAST (-:
I shot a 69. So I am in a good spot.
Later that night, when James and I spoke, we set his intentions for the last round; a round that can be the toughest to maintain your mental strength. I told him that he was a true BEAST and was using his brilliant animal instincts for true performance driven results.
I awoke the next morning to this text:
68. We are on to the next stage. Thanks for your help. Three Wins:
- I was able to enjoy the moment when I felt nervous, and told myself “I love pressure.”
- I was well inside the number, but kept myself aggressive and focused on the task at hand.
- Once again, I’m a BEAST (-:
Moral Of The Story: Who’s to judge what is BEST?
When I live my life this way, the BEST always shows up, even though at times it takes great faith to see it that way.
I always love to say, “If it is not good in the end, then it is not the end.”
The end (or is it?)